Sunday, May 13, 2012

No 0064 - Three Mothers

I think everybody needs to have at least three mothers.  Let me explain who they are and why.

Mother #1 - Birth Mother
Everybody has this one by default.  This is probably the one that knows us the best, lived with us the longest and most likely has telepathic powers that can predict our every move.  For most of us, this mother has also seen and experience us at our best and our worst.  From our naked and helpless state as a baby to adulthood; they have both physically and mentally seen it ALL.  I can't speak on all of our birth mother's behalf but I'm willing to bet that they probably couldn't have possibly loved every moment it.  Let's think of it from their point view.  Here is this child that is given to them from birth that they themselves DO NOT have a choice of choosing at all.  It is not like PE class during high school where you get to pick who you want on your team.  If your child is destined to be a jerk or a pain in the behind, you're stuck, this is IT. . . here's the child and now raise IT!  Make sure they do good in school.  Make sure they clean up after themselves.  Make sure they don't get a cold, and if they do, make sure they don't spread it.  Talk about a huge task to take on.

Why do we need mother #1?
For obvious reasons.  For creating us.  For physically providing for us.  Our current health and status that we enjoy now is largely due to their input.  We are talking about years of agony of trying to get us to eat those things that we may not have liked as a child.  But more importantly, we need mother #1 for molding us into the people we are today.  It is often time their job to teach us some of the most important life lessons that  nobody else in your life will ever teach you.  Why? Because sometimes those lessons are not very fun to teach.  Here are some examples.  "Please don't cut your hair like that because it makes you look bad!" "Please stop hanging out with those kids 'cause they are bad for you" "Please stop trying to date those type of girls because they are way too out of your league!" "You sound like a fool when you talk like that!" You know what these lessons are and you know it in your heart, deep down inside, that you are grateful for them.  And with that said, that is why I'm thankful for my mother #1.

Mother #2 - Mother-in-law
More often than not, pop culture likes to paint a picture of evilness when we are talking about mother-in-laws.  I would like to dispute that.  Actually, I can remember telling my friends in the past that I see mother-in-laws (or especially potential mother-in-laws) as someone who holds "the keys to the kingdom".  If you are in pursuit of a girl and eventually thinking about marriage, then it is absolutely crucial to gain the favors from mother #2.  You can think of it this way, when you want to marry someone, you are really asking to be a part of a new family.  Yes, your significant other knows you well, but as far as his or her family goes, you are a complete stranger.  It is a huge commitment for each family member to take you in as their in-law.  In a situation like that, you need an advocate.  Someone to convince the rest of the family that you're okay.  Kind of like a lobbyist convincing congress on legislation.  With a deal here and there and maybe some bribing, mother #2 can sell you to anyone.

Why do we need mother #2?
To be an advocate for you.  And when you do gain the access to the kingdom, they could also be your guide to that kingdom, kind of like a sherpa to the Himalayas.  "And this is why there is a giant purple hippo over the door"  Or "this is why all the kids like to play dress up and make a video of it".  On top of being a guide, they also can be a great substitute for your mother #1.  When my wife (then girl friend) got really hurt from a car accident on our Christmas vacation, she was hospitalized and my mother-in-law flew out.  Beside providing morale stability for me during this whole ordeal, she also brought Christmas with her.  She brought us back to normalcy, or at least as much normalcy as you can in intensive care.  She made the situation less dire and was instrumental in my wife's healing process.  And with that said, that is why I'm thankful for my mother #2.

Mother #3 - Wife
I can't agree more with the saying "you'll have a happy life when you have a happy wife".  She is the key and source of happiness to the rest of your life.  Besides taking on all the responsibilities of being a mother #1 to all the little minions that you helped create, she has to withstand all of your shenanigans as a husband as well.  The wife is a lot like a Swiss army knife that is capable to handle all situations and challenges thrown at her.  She is the doctor.  She is the taxi driver.  She is the cook.  She is the health inspector.  She is the psychologist.  She is the CFO.  She is the cheerleader.  She is the teacher.  She is the designer.  The list goes on and on.  My everyday life consists of two phases, go to work, and then come home and work on the house.  Here is what Sarah's day is like.  Wake up, prepare our lunches for the day, go to a full time job, grocery, come home and cook, hears me yap and complaint, does the dishes, then work on the house and then wait for me to go to bed.  It is not like I've forgotten how to cook or do grocery and stuff but she is just so efficient at it.  I tried to take those tasks from her sometimes but that would end up either with me accidentally shrinking her shirts or adding too much salt on something.

Why do we need mother #3?
Brian Regan once joked about the "essential kit" that airline gives out when they have lost your baggage.  "Here is your box of life essential . . . food, shelter and love (I guess I over packed)".  Mother #3 is that essential kit!  I've been married to Sarah for a little more than a year now and I honestly couldn't remember how I have made it through the single years all by myself.  What was I eating?  What color were my furniture?  Did I have curtains?  Though we may not have any kids yet, she is already showing signs of a good mother.  One time we babysat this toddler that was about 3 years old.  I love playing with the kid . . . until we had to change his diaper.  I was not thrill about it but I though I should learn sometimes.  I held my breath like I was going on a deep sea dive until I couldn't do it any more.  My wife was looking over my shoulder like a master cook over a sous chief.  When I ran out of breath, she console me "it's okay" and took over.   She wrapped it up just like that and gave me all the credit.  Talk about an amazing woman and all the life essential that I would ever need for the rest of my life!  And with that said, that is why I'm grateful for my mother #3 (to-be).

4 comments:

Claire said...

nice post, patrick. i'm glad you have 3 good mothers in your life.

Tina said...

Aww Thanks Patrick! I'm happy to be Mother #2! And we can go hiking anytime...so long as you promise that I won't ever have to be a real sherpa.

networkace said...

nice blog

asfiya reisya said...

i love mother so much, and i want to be mother, :)