Wednesday, October 3, 2007

No. 0033 - Get Well Card For My Car

It is ironic how my last invention was about how I've cherished the memories with my comrade, my friend, my partner in crime . . . my beloved car. Just a matter of a week or two after my last invention post, I was at the stake center playing some pick up indoor soccer. I was parked in the middle row with the trunk facing the church, and sure enough there is a row of cars parked right up in the first row, including a gigantic F350 (lifted maybe?). In any case, towards the end right as everybody is leaving, my relatively low profile car hidden in the darkness of the 2nd row didn't stand a chance against a piece of solid steel with 125 horses pushing it. The driver didn't see my parked car and careened into my defenseless Honda (he was very sorry and I quickly forgave him). Evidently, my trunk was crushed, bumper warped, and side fender bent; F350, broken tail light. I know the impact must have been pretty crazy because as some of you might have remembered from riding in my car that I have this little dragon statuette dangling from from rear view mirror, well, that dragon was found wrapped one revolution around the mirror from the jolt. If my Honda and the Ford had arms and legs, the equivalent scenario will be like having Frodo getting whooped by Evander Holyfield (without the ethereal and the orc sword of course).

So the damages has been done and the next day I was more worried about if they are fixable or not. The catch here is that once I've turned it over to my insurance, it is up to them to determine if the car is fixable or not; in essence, they are really like doctors because they will determine if my car has to be "put down" or not. Luckily, they called me later on the same day that they can fix him up and no permanent damages has been done. Even though he will be "hospitalized" for 3 weeks, they promise he will be as good as new. I was relieved. As for my invention, this particular blog has now become an official "Get Well Soon" site for my Honda. You may leave kind messages or words of encouragement for my car. You can say things like "hey, you'll get a new bumper!" or "hey, look at it this way, now you'll have bragging rights in front of other chick cars from withstanding such a blow!" All will be appreciated. Just to illustrate some of the mental and physical pain that my Honda had to go through. The day following the "beat down", I drove him down to the shop (in which I shouldn't have). I don't think people have ever given me this much space on the road before. People were driving and stopping a full car length behind me; they treated my car like as if it was diseased or mad or something?! It's not like the crushed metal will miraculously come off and jump onto theirs like a rash?! It's not like I'll drive recklessly now because I got this crazy crunch in my trunk?! If you see your friend with a black eye or a broken arm, you are not going to suddenly avoid them like a plague and think that he or she will randomly hit you?! Gosh people, cars have feelings too, especially my car! So there, say something nice. My girlfriend is going to buy balloons when he gets out of the shop, so what are you going to do?


Hilary said...

(Apparently, I have way too much time on my hands.)

Oh Patrick's faithful car,
So very loved thou wast,
And yet friend still thou are,
Avenged shall be thy wound unjust!

Thou art a beautiful Honda(?),
Silver and speedy and serene,
Clearly a car thy master was fond'a,
For he always kept thee impecably clean.

Alas, that truck, enemy most odious!
So bruttish, unkind, and foul,
To have dealt with an innocent thus!
Loathed truck, we now will disembowel!

Oh, rest thy pretty fenders,
Sleep now, but soon thou shalt wake!
Glorious scenes our Master renders
Are yet waiting to be seen on trips thou shalt take.

Amanda said...

Seriously, Hilary has too much time on her hands.

Little Honda:
Wounds heal, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

Get well soon.

Roseanne said...

I think I must have forgotten the conversation about the balloons. What is your car's favorite kind? Does he like the shiny ones? or the really bigs ones? or maybe just number and colors is enough?

Patrick said...

Roseanne, I'm not quite sure to tell you the truth. After all he is only six years old. I think just about any six years old would love any kind of balloon regardless of color or size.

Hilary, three letters, WOW.

Amanda, I'll relay the message.

Patrick said...

Update: My Honda has returned home and now parked happily in the car port.