Tuesday, November 24, 2009

No. 0053 - A Girl Named "NPR"

If NPR (National Public Radio) is a girl, I would ask her to marry me. She is funny. She is smart. She is witty. She always have something interesting to tell me. She cares about things that really matter in the world today, yet she is never too busy to tell me a few random fun facts (picking lock for a sport! who would have thought!? http://www.wbur.org/2009/11/19/locksport).

She introduces me to new music all the time. And we are not talking about playing the same pop song every three hours like most others but instead excerpt of songs from rising stars from all sorts of genre (she introduced me to Zee Avi, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a46VZ-dE8-4).

She is unbiased on most political views, but yet she is not a push over even in front of the most formidable figure. She examines topics from all angles allowing me the freedom to process the information in which ever manner I wish.

She asks intelligent questions which often times does a good job of stirring up my brain juices, while at the same time also asks questions that make me feel.

She likes to talk science on Fridays (Science Friday) which combines two of my all time favorite things together: Science and Fridays.

She knows how to fix cars on weekends (Car Talk) but then right after that, she'll jump right into an engaging discussion of making fun of current events (Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me), which is also one of my favorite things to do and that is poking fun at whatever.

Though she does repeat herself during the night time (in some places Latin music) but I don't mind.

She is way popular, with lots of people always trying to call her. One time I've finally mustered up enough courage to call her to voice an opinion but her line was busy. I was pretty crushed.

And you know this attraction is 100% genuine and not one bit shallow because she doesn't even have a body or a face.

Some of you may say, "wow, Patrick has really lost it this time" or "that last breakup must have really messed him up in the head!" Messed up in the head? Maybe. But one thing I do know from an interest-based analysis standpoint, that if NPR is a girl, I would find her dang attractive.

Disclaimer: Please don't interpret this as "Patrick's Future (Human) Wife Wish List". I'll never post such a thing, even though this would be pretty close. If you follow this blog regularly, you would know that the spirit of this blog is an attempt to approach everything in life analytically. Please don't consider me crazy. Thank you.


Dean said...

This comment doesn't have anything to do with this invention idea directly, but I wasn't totally sure where the 'suggestion box' was, so here it goes.

I was leaving work to bike home several days ago - a 5 mile ride - and decided to call my girlfriend to have a nice chat on the way. Because of the nifty iPhone earbud/mic combo, I can do this without losing my ability to bike safely, but what I do lose is some sort of signifier that I'm on the phone.

So, when a coworker walks up to where I'm unlocking my bike, has no idea I'm on the phone, and hears me say, 'hey, so when did you want to meet up tonight?' - the awkwardness ensues. What invention idea would you have to prevent this situation - a situation that has happened to me on many occasions in different forms. Flashing lights? Hand signals? I don't know - but maybe you can come up with something.

Carrie G said...

Patrick- this is Claire's sister. I just came over to your blog because I just came across your saran wrapped waterproofed Chinese lady's car comment and it made me laugh out loud, and then you wanting to marry NPR also made me laugh, and now I think maybe you are funny.

Patrick said...

Dean, I'll call this invention No. 0053a. I actually have seen lights on people's phone at my work which serves that exact purpose, but how dorky would it be to have a light bulb attached to your phone. How about this? (And I totally think IPhone can develop this). Say you are on the phone and then you run into someone who is talking to you at the same time. Your phone should be able to pick up the background and voice recognize it. Then it will either automatically send a text to that person in your phonebook (assuming you know this person) OR send an "umbrella" text to cell phones within a small diameter from your cell phone location. It would say stuff like "can't talk to you right now" or simply "shut the heck up!". However, I think it would be pretty hilarious if you are on the phone walking through a loud place and your phone is sending out random text trail of "shut the heck up" to those around you.