No. 0060 - Sarah "The Wife"

I think marriage is rather a genius invention. Two people coming together, sharing everything, co-habitating, co-cooking, car-pooling and etc. etc. I honestly think the global energy crisis can be solved if more people would get married and live together just because life becomes so much more efficient that way. But I don't want to talk about the invention of marriage, I want to talk about . . . Sarah "the Wife".

We actually address each other by that title. Everyday I come home and I would say "hello Wife". Sarah would reply "Husband?!" I'm not bringing this up to be sappy but really, marriage is great. Why? Well for starters, my wife Sarah always spoils me. I asked her to stop but she won't. She would always try to pull a double-reverse-psychology on me. Say it is dinner time and she doesn't want to have pizza. Then I would ask what would she like for dinner. She will stick to neutrality like a snapping turtle onto a fish. After much interrogation of non-option from her part, I'd say "let's have Chinese". Then she'll say "yeah, let's have Chinese" with that enthusiastic smile that she always have. Me, being wishy-washy as I always am, would then say "nah, lets do pizza". Then my sweet wife would say "YEAH!! we haven't had pizza for a long time! I know a place". The inconsistency of enthusiasm is usually what gives it away but I don't always pick up on it. It isn't usually until afterwards or during dinner when she only eats 1/3 of a slice. I would then point out "uh, so I guess you didn't want pizza huh". Then she'll be like "yeah". You see what I'm talking about? It's like she is conning me into doing something that she doesn't like just because she knows that's what I want. Who does that? Nobody but Sarah "the Wife".

One thing that really drew me to her in the first place (besides her stunning beauty and quirk) is her brain. I'm not speaking from a standpoint of a zombie but her mind is truly one of beauty and smarts. I can always take my petty spelling questions to her and she would never judge me. She would proof read my stuff all the time. She knows I hate to write formal business emails to lame people like the United Airline or the postcard printing place, so she'll just do it for me. Besides being a quick-witted-beauty, her brain is also very accommodating. Before we were dating, she doesn't listen to NPR 'cause she said it was boring. Now she forces upon herself to listen to it all the time just so that she can bring interesting stories home to tell me about. Now that we've been married for two months, we religiously listen to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and she would totally slaughter me on Listener Limerick Challenge (I can never get those things!).

Sarah "the Wife" is truly one of the best invention that ever happened to me and am glad that I get to be Patrick "the Husband". I love her dearly. I just would like to point out that while I was writing this blog, Sarah woke up several times, smiled, snuggled closer, said something incoherent and went right back to sleep. Isn't that just pure adorableness?!

PS - Sweetie, I'm sure there are a handful of grammatical errors in this piece, you don't judge right?