No. 0049 - 25 Random Things About Me

Okay, this is not really my invention. I'm just following the crowd with this whole "25 random things about you" movement. In fact at one point, I vowed to not do it but then again, here I am simply because I get bored very easily. To be quite honest, I'm only adding this as an invention idea because I didn't want to mess up my whole invention motif to my notes section in my Facebook. Here are the instructions that I guess we are suppose to copy and paste at the beginning. My 25 follows that. Enjoy.

Suggested Guidelines: Once tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You are supposed to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. It seems like I do not have any short term memory. If you physically bump me, I would forget even faster as if thoughts are falling out of my ear. I also can’t retain anything if multiple thoughts arrive at the same time (I get real frustrated when that happens).

2. I can only breathe through one nostril at a time and my nose choices which nostril to breathe through (It would often reroute the airflow at random times of the day). But when it gets mad or irritated, it would just block both passages. (You can suffocate me just by covering my mouth).

3. I once had a pet “cyclop-ed” parakeet as a child (no I did not hurt it nor did I get it from a pirate) probably because it watched too much TV.

4. I asked Roseanne out to a dance as our first date but she wasn’t feeling well, so I bought her a tube of Airborne as our date gift.

5. Whenever I get hungry back in college, I just go open up my fridge and cabinets, and my appetite would go away. (It still works sometimes these days).

6. I like tripe (the Chinese way).

7. For the longest time, I thought the thundering and misting of the vegetables in grocery stores is all apart of “Plant Psychology”, as in we are trying to trick the plant to think that it is still in the fields therefore have reasons to stay alive and fresh.

8. I once had a very heated argument (even to tears) with my cousins when I was ~8 about how ants don’t have any eyes. (I was behind the no-eyes proposition).

9. Unlike most Asians, I hate seafood.

10. I used to think 99 degrees was cool, but now I think 30+ is warm.

11. I prefer noodles rather than rice.

12. I once installed my camera in my friend’s RC plane, flew it above the mountain ranges and captured movie of the Pacific Ocean.

13. I have only ditched class twice in my entire life besides honest sick day. I faked sick once in 3rd grade and I ditched a welding lecture once just so that I can make it to this professor’s office hour.

14. I get noxious when I smell Spaghettio because back in 6th grade, my science teacher used it to represent intestines to a fake murder scene at the baseball field. He was trying to teach us the Scientific Method.

15. I love McDonald fries.

16. I get annoyed when I see little kids wearing their soccer cleats off the field (e.g. grocery stores, downtown sidewalks).

17. If I didn’t become an engineer, I would have been an architect. (And if not that, then a photographer)

18. I learned how to speak fluent English from watching the Simpsons and Full House.

19. My first crush on a foreigner (Caucasian) was the girl in Labyrinth when I was a little boy. (I’ve recently found out that the girl happens to be Sarah Connelly, who ironically is also the star to A Beautiful Mind, my number one favorite movie of all times. Roseanne accuses me of sub-consciously favoring that movie not because of the story but simply because Sarah Connelly is in it. I dispute that accusation, John Nash is awesome . . . for the most part).

20. I have driven to places before where I would be so tired when I was driving that I forgot how I got to a certain places. (For example, I once drove from San Luis Obispo to Santa Barbara during the night. I was so tired, that I’ve pretty much shut down my brain to the lowest running capability as in simply making sure the front of my car is in between the white lines not know where I was going. When I’ve received full mental power again, I did not remember driving through the switch backs or the tunnel of the 101 and I’ve noticed the ocean to my right. Cold sweat ran down my back as I’ve realized I’ve just cheated death. I’ve vowed to never do that again.)

21. Drinking Gatorade makes me thirstier.

22. I have yet to finishing up using an entire stick of chapstick but I’ve set that as one of the many goals in my life.

23. I hold my breath when I remove the lens of my camera.

24. I despise, loathe and can’t stand the High School Musical and all other teenie bopper movies like it. (Get real and get a job! . . . excuse my candor).

25. I hate insects of all sorts, especially those that can fly and may freak out on you. My general rule is if you have more than two pair of legs, I probably won’t like you.

No. 0048 - Wild Card Birthday

I am going to be 29 soon. And it feels a lot like someone is holding my feet to the fire. Every year that goes by, someone is pulling me incrementally closer to the fire and by the time I hit 30, that's when I go up in flames. I think that is a pretty accurate description of how I feel about my age. Since I've moved to Massachusetts, I've been looking out for a soccer league to join. They have leagues for all ages but one thing that bothers me is that they called the 30 and plus years old team "Over-the-hill league". I didn't realize I was so close to the top of the hill?! How come no one warned me about this hill?! I didn't realized I was even climbing this hill?! I thought I was still in the FOOT-hills!

I'm sure a lot of you out there are dreading to have that "3" sneak up into the tens unit of you age. The 20's were great, weren't they? You're out of the house on your own so you can have ice cream for dinner and stay out 'till 3 in the morning. You can be a couch potato or sit in front of your computer for days, but still be able to get on your feet and play some hardcore ultimate Frisbee for hours and hours without complaining "my knees are hurting". If I can choose to be 20's forever, I would. Even if I can stay in the 20's for just one more year, I would do it. That's is why my invention this month is called the Wild Card Birthday.

Here is how it works. Everybody get issued a wild card that they can keep. During any part of their life, that person may use it to legally keep the same age for another year. That simple. So if I have such a wild card, I would use it during my next birthday and give myself a second 28th birthday party (all are invited). I mean seriously, who really cares about age anyway; it's all relative. Did you feel any different when you turned 24? Not really (at least not for me). Legally you didn't really gain anything unlike 21. But will I feel something when I cross over to the 30's? Heck yes I will because I would be branded as over-the-hill according to the MPS (Mass Premier Soccer). Considering average lifespan in the US is in the hi 70's and low 80's, what is it going to hurt if we can just roll back our age by one year? That's only roughly 1.25% of our entire lifespan.

No. 0047 - Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V Appreciation Day

As Christmas is fast approach in this holiday season, it is very important for us to be a little bit more grateful for the things we may have taken for granted during the year. That's is why I'm dedicating this invention to two commands that we all PC users have grown to love: copy (Ctrl+C) and paste (Ctrl+V). I use them so much that I think the left Ctrl key on my work keyboard is probably the shiniest key from my pinky polishing it every time that I pressed it.

We all have used them, probably on a daily basis. What is so great about them is that they are universal commands that can be used between different programs, even outside the realm of the "World of Microsoft Word" (WoMW). My favorite 'inter-program-Ctrl-C&V-ing' is pulling stuff off of Adobe Acrobat/Reader. It is so easy, sometimes I feel like I'm plagiarizing. If you are reading something online and don't understand a certain word or phrase and it doesn't have a link? No worries, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V and Google search in the corner will save the day. Got a long string of numbers such as credit card numbers? Ctrl+C & V will take care of you. Another favorite Ctrl+C & Ctrl+Ving moment of mine is when I'm pulling a JPEG from the web or pdfs to put into my power point. You see, I have a pep-peeve of saving separate JPEGs onto my hard drive and then insert my pictures into my document from my hard drive. My goal has always been to keep my HD as lean as possible and Ctrl+C&V allows me to bypass saving anything.

Today at work, I wrote 400-500 lines of code in Matlab in one sitting. How was I able to achieve that you may ask? Nothing but a little magic that I pulled with my pinky and ring finger. Some of you that are more programming savvy may ask "if you need to use copy & paste so much, why don't you just write some loops instead?" My answer to you is that it's complicated, OK!!!

Let us not take things for granted this holiday season and appreciate something that is so simple yet so powerful such as these two quick key commands. Maybe the next time you are cleaning and dusting your keyboard, you can give the Ctrl, C and V key an extra shine so they would stand out amongst all the other keys on the keyboard. Or maybe give those three buttons a tune up/check up every once in awhile. The Ctrl key is very prone to looseness since it typically sits on the corner of the keyboard. And lets not forget that 'C' and 'V' also has double duties serving as 2 of the 26 members of our alphabets ('C' probably gets used more so if you have to pick a favorite one to baby, I would pick C). Since the holiday seasons are also about being a little nicer than usual, I'll also give a shout out to the Apple's Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V counterparts: Apple+C & Apple+V (Unix's 'highlight' and 'double mouse button/middle mouse' are not bad either). I invite all to share their favorite copy and paste moments as we celebrate Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V Appreciation Day.

Note* Ctrl+X is not too bad either, but I don't use it nearly as much. I think Ctrl+X is a bit more barbaric than Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V, as I may accidentally delete stuff when I don't mean to (back-to-back Ctrl+X action will do that to you). Maybe next year I may grow comfortable enough to appreciate it as well. Ctrl+Z is a very strong runner-up for next year too.

No. 0046 - Engineers on Wall Street

Let me try to say this as tactfully as possible; I think all those who works at Wall Street should be fired and replaced with engineers, period! The economy is in trouble, we hear about it everyday; shrinking 401k's, shrinking job markets, shrinking GDP and etc. People are pointing fingers at each other playing the blame game. In own opinion, I couldn't really find anyone else to blame besides the greed of Wall Street and those who works there. Let me explain to you why I think an engineer (especially ME, AERO, Civil and maybe EEs) would do a better job and we wouldn't have been in this whole mess in the first place if engineers were to call the shot.

My fellow engineering friends or those who have taken more than 2 quarters of college physics can resonant with me on this one. You see, in the engineering field, we all have been exposed to this topic call Thermodynamics. Yes, the dreaded Thermo! I personally never really excelled or found interest in this branch of my ME curriculum , nevertheless, as a helpless engineering student like I was back then, this stuff was beaten into my head. As some of you may painfully recall the fundamental laws of thermodynamics. Let me explain to you how understanding these laws could have prevented us from this whole economic mess.

The first law of thermodynamics pretty much illustrates the fact that energy may be manipulated in any shape or form we want in a closed system, but it all adds up in the end meaning the end states remain fixed. Does Conservation of Energy ring a bell? Energy is neither created or destroyed, that simple. In this economic turmoil that we are living in, credit is rapidly disappearing and prices of things are falling. Why? Because the economy has violated the very fundamentals of the first law. I never quite understood the phrase "money breeds money" because the only way that this could happen is to have someone infusing cash into the system. Not unless we started doing business with the Martians or aliens from out of space, I believe an economy is a closed system. I don't care how global this economy is, it is one giant CLOSED system. Money ought to just flow around and not spontaneously reproduces itself. I don't care how or what kind of business transactions we do, or what "credit default swaps" are performed or however complicated a business deal gets, the ends state is the same meaning if there is $100 running around out there in the economy, then $100 it remains, not $1000 all of a sudden in ten years.

Second law of thermodynamics has to do with entropy. A standard high school definition is that entropy is the measurement of chaos or disorder in the world and that it is constantly increasing (I suppose that is analogous to the way the economy is spinning out of control). For as ominous as that may sound, there is actually more to it. The second law more or less points out how things spontaneously move or go the direction they do. For example, heat transfer naturally goes from hot to cold or pressure always goes from high to low. The key take away point from the second law is its opportunity to do work as energy is spontaneous flowing around. For example, the released pressure may be used to blow into a turbine to do work, or heat released from a hot source could be used to heat the water to create steam power. Same thing with money in the economy, its health (work) is predicated by its flow or liquidity. Oh by the way, one more minor detail about the second law, it is only valid as long as the CONSERVATION OF ENERGY IS SATISFIED!!! Once again, where did all these extra money (aka credit) came from??

As I refer back to my good old trusty thermo book, it actually mentions in a chapter that these theories has been applied to other fields such as psychology and ECONOMY! Now I'm really scratching my head, where are all the engineers on Wall Street? Probably next to none, but instead they are replaced with the type of people that don't have classes on Fridays also known as Cal Poly Business Majors! (Shirk-Dog, this is a satirical piece, you know I love you like a brother man). Am I bitter you may ask? Yeah, I would say. I mean how can I not be when I was drudging my way to my Friday 4 pm continuum mechanics "beat down" midterm when all the business majors are half drunk already. As you can tell by now, I really don't like business people.

Oh and by the way, while I'm on a rant, another profession that I despise - statisticians. Don't "Student-T" me?!?! I save this one for a later day.

No. 0045 - More-than-Full Gas Tank Gauge

When I first got my driver's license at 18, gas costed $1.13/gal. When I got off my mission in 2001, I can fill up my tank to my Honda around $15. As some of you would have similar memories of the good-old-days of cheap gas, well, I got some bad news for you (and most of you have probably made peace with this thought already), those days are gone! I travel 80 some miles round trip everyday to work in both stop-go and white knuckle speed driving. For as gas efficient as my Civic is, I have to fill it up just about once a week. It has been a very nice treat to see national gas prices dropped about 50 cents/gal recently (I filled up my car from the gas light to full under $30 tonight, I cheered "YESSSSS!" out loud at the gas station), nevertheless, it is still not the good old days.

There are four gauges on my dashboard and it is sad to say that the one gauge I pay most attention to is the gas gauge. Every tick that the needle drops, I drive a little differently. Every tank I go through, it is like an emotional roller coaster. Here is how it usually goes and what I would say to myself:

Full - clean slate, "let's see how for I can go with this one?", "ready for that road trip!"

3/4 tank - "what?! I filled up yesterday?!"

1/2 tank - the long haul, mileage check, "this thing better say at least 150 miles or more!"

1/4 tank - "better start looking for cheap gas station", "I love how gas price cycles and I always catch the peaks!!", this zone usually last longer for some reason, "I really ought to fill it up so I can keep it under $30, that makes me feel like a winner (sad I know)".

Empty - "crap, it is not one week yet!, keep going!"

Gas light - "I wonder how many miles can I go before my car dies (inspired by Kramer)"

As some of you may notice, out of all those tank levels I've described above, there is one portion of the gas gauge that I didn't mentioned - yes, my favorite region, the "more-than-full" region. This is kind of sick but it gives me much satisfaction to see my little orange needle pointing to the darkness that is beyond the big white full bar, pushing against the needle stop. I especially enjoy it when I turn on my car and see the needle rushing for that zone. Why is it so gratifying? Because I know I can drive and drive and drive for some unknown time, that needle will not move ever so slightly! I'm not sure if you share this similar joy as I do in a "more-tank-full" tank, but I propose that all gas tank gauges should have a needle that could point beyond full, and stay there for a while. The key is not seeing that needle move. I mean come on. . . . give the poor needle a break once in a while. Let it rest so I can pay more attention to my other gauges on my dash board, such as the speed!

No. 0044 - Help Patrick Train for the 2012 London Olympic Games

What a spectacular show the Beijing Olympic was! With all the world class athletes coming together under one stadium and competing, it makes it well worth the four year wait. Beside the sporting events, my favorite has got to be the parade of nations during the opening ceremony. That is where you can get the scoops on all the likely gold contenders and which events to look forward to. I can't begin to image how cool it must be for all the athletes walking into the stadium representing their perspective county, while also in the presence of so many elite athletes from all over the world. You know? I love it so much, watching this year's parade of nations gave me the inspiration to make a goal for myself: I WANT TO MAKE IT TO THE PARADE OF NATIONS IN THE 2012 LONDON OLYMPIC AS AN ATHLETE!

Great, I got a goal. Now I just need to pick a sport, train for 4 years and elevate myself to the world class levels (or at least better than everyone else in the US). Now, like I said, all I have to do is to make it to the parade; I don't have to get a metal or anything. I just want to make it to the parade! I'm somewhat athletic but definitely not world class. I love to play soccer but I'm often the "last-pick" guy. I have ping-pong paddles and everybody thinks I'm automatically good 'cause I'm Chinese, but I'm definitely no Forrest Gump. The problem with having Olympic dreams at age 28 is that I'm a bit late. Most Olympic athletes start their training almost as soon as they can walk. Gymnasts for instance, how do you think they can flip and fold themselves up like that if they don't start when their bones and joints are still malleable, unlike mine when it hurts just to sit on the floor for an extended period of time . So basically, main stream sports are off limits for me. This is where I need your help (this month's invention is more of a collaborative effort), I need you to help me find a sport.

I have given this some thought and came up with three strategies. (1)Get into a non-popular US sport, (2)revive an old Olympic event and (3)make up a new sport.

I need to find a sport that is relatively new and foreign in the US so I may get good fast and stand out. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think the only event that the US didn't participate in Beijing was team hand-ball. From what I've observed, I think the strategies are a lot like soccer but you play with a size 2 soccer ball, with your hands and on a smaller field (what a deal! less running). I like this option because I think my chances in a team sport are much higher than an individual sport since all I need to do is to make it to the "bench".

Second strategy, revive an old sport. I visited the Olympic website and shopped around for that. And guess what?! I found Tug-of-War! It was last competed back in the 1920 Antwerp Belgium summer games. I was pretty excited when I saw that. How many people in the world play Tug-of-War on a regular basis? Heck, if I can start a team and practice like mad man for the next four years, I think gold is in site people! But the biggest obstacle remains, we would have to convince the IOC to put it back on the games. Come join the cause at my Facebook group "US Tug-of-War Olympic Team". I would imagine convincing the IOC to put events back will be tough after all, they have just given softball the pink slip for 2012 (sorry girls) because of US dominance. But here's the thing, I don't think Tug-of-War is biased towards any country. It is simply one of those sports that people all over the world have left behind. Now some of you may argue if it is even a sport and we will save that debate for another day (Yes it is!).

Third, making up a new sport. I'm not really creative with games (that's why I need your help) but if I were to make one up, it would have to be something that I'm already good with. All I got so far is parallel parking and poking fun at things. It would be a pretty long stretch before either of these things would become a sport. For those of you who knows me well, are there any random things that I'm good at that remotely resembles a sport? If so, do tell.

I've also done some research locally and seen what training is available. The closet thing I've come to is fencing (the website post actually said Olympic training). But me, fencing!? I'm not really good with sports that involve holding anything. I used to do Tae Kwan Do when I was young but I'm afraid of getting kicked in the groin (bad experience, don't want to talk about it). I need your help people! I'm also open to the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympic games (Curling maybe?) but that's only two years away. So whatever you suggest, it has got to be dang easy and unpopular.

P.S. - I've attached the most athletic and toughest picture that I can find of myself. Hopefully this might give you an idea of my physiques so you may suggest according.

No. 0043 - Monopoly Extended Play

I think Monopoly is the greatest board game ever! I understand that Monopoly is not exactly a new invention, but that doesn't bar me from pointing good invention already made. For as much as I did enjoy writing about "Communism" the Game (See No. 0019 in June, one of my personal favorite), I'm a proponent of capitalism and there is no better way to learn about it than playing Monopoly. I think the game effectively encapsulates the workings of the economy that we all live in today, and by mastering it would do much good to the way we do our finances. In fact, I think anyone who is old enough to make or handle money should master the game first.

A week or two ago, I have gotten this sudden urge to play Monopoly. So I went online, downloaded the game and started rolling dices. Now the traditional strategy is to make sure you are the last surviving player while bankrupting your opponents one by one. With this strategy, it didn't take very long before I was challenging and conquering "tycoon" difficulty level opponents. It was then I have devised a new strategy of playing the game; I started targeting the bank instead of my opponents. The trick is you must not kill of your opponents off but instead keep them in the game to make money for you. Here is how it's done.

First, you have to build an empire and accumulate cash. Get enough property for the steady income (traditional strategy, one to two streets would be fine). But the trick is build just enough houses so that your opponents can afford to pay you in cash and not be bankrupted. Second step, start acquiring your opponents' properties but pay only cash for it. Yes, their accounts would have way more money than you but they will all come back to you 'cause you are the one with the properties. Once again, build houses but don't make it a death row (i.e. lay off the hotels on Broadway even if you can afford it). The main goal here is to keep you opponents from making deals and expanding. Warning, those pesky house and hotel repairs can cripple you at this point. Just remember that the most expensive bill the bank can throw at you is $2600 (32 houses X $40 and 12 hotels X $110) so plan accordingly. Third, keep your opponents in play. What this means is to make obvious bad deals with your opponents (cash only) from time to time, for example, sell a railroad for a dollar and buy it back for $3000. What you are doing is putting money in your opponents' pocket so they can pay you back when they land on your stuff (kind of like paying salary to your workers).

If you can get to this point, then you have effectively started the vicious cycle against the bank. Why? Because the game naturally inflates. Every time you and your opponents (assume you are able to keep 3 other ones alive) crosses "GO", that's $800 of income to your conglomeration. Not including all the free parkings, chances and community chest cards which tend to award a higher value in cash than they penalize. I've gotten to this same situation before but with only one opponent left. I conducted a little experiment. I've purchased the get out of jail free card from my opponent for $18000 (I've kept $2600 in my pocket just in case). By this point I've purchased all houses and hotels available and own the entire board. I know all that money will come back to me eventually and the bankrupting of my final opponent will mark the end of the experiment. The goal is to figure out how much money I would have made from the bank in one such cycle (from $18000 to zero for my opponent's account). Transaction between me and my associate don't count, only money that comes in and out of the bank. The results? I ended up making about $8000 from the bank! ONE CYCLE?! And what does this simulates? Inflation!! Talk about the purest form of money breeding money! Some people may wonder why things are getting more and more expensive such as the housing market (well not now because of all the foreclosures but overall yes). Why? Because there are more cash out there. Baltic Ave. can easily go for $3000-$4000 by this point of the game. Another lesson learned: a healthy economy comes from lots of money transactions, why? Because rich people make money off of other rich people, kind of like the relationship I have with my opponents. I give them wads of cash, they land on my stuff and I get that same wad back and then some from the bank.

I can't say I now know all that there is to know about money from playing Monopoly. In fact, I still don't understand a lot on how businesses and the economy works. Econ 211 is as far as I've gone back in college (i.e. supply and demand, cash flow, surplus. . . the basic stuff) and that was boring to me. That explains a lot why I do what I do today (technical and not business). But if I would have learn these principles early on as a child by mastering this game, I think my career path would have turned out a little differently. I honestly think that I would get a better grasp (and interests) of these principles if my econ class would have just played Monopoly day in and day out. Heck, why have tests and finals? Just have the whole class play a gigantic game of Monopoly and who ever survives gets the A. Done deal!!!