Thursday, April 17, 2008

No. 0041 - Better Disease's Name

I've been suffering from a stye in my eyelids for the past 3-4 days (thank goodness it is starting to get better now). For those of you who don't know, a stye is basically a pimple that grows either inside or around your eyelids. It is mainly caused by an infected tear duct. Fun stuff huh?! NOT! Out of all the places, it was growing right on the ridge of my bottom left eyelid, dead center! My left eye was swollen, tender and tearing for the past 2 days intensively. What's worst is that it does grow like a pimple so I got this white little dot on my eyelid that obstructs my vision. Every time I look down, I only get like 3/4 of the total vision. . . it was so annoying. For the first day or two, I thought my eye was just getting irritated from the allergies until the little bump started to appear. So I went online to my trusty WebMD, and sure enough, my symptoms told me that I was getting a STYE. A STYE!!! My first thought was "what a stupid name!" I mean who comes up with this stuff? Did the guy that discovered this raises pigs for a living or something?!? The reason why I bought this up is because when people asked me what was happening to my left eye, I told them I was getting a stye in my eye; that totally made me feel like as if I was telling them I have leprosy or something like that and needed to be quarantined at the janitor's closet. It is bad enough to suffer through the pain of having a pimple in your eye, but can't the name be at least something more pleasant to counteract the embarrassment? Why can't it be called a "lolly pop" instead? "Oh I just have a lolly pop in my eye, so anyway . . .. blah blah blah". See? Much better.

Another good example - "breaking out in hives". For some strange reasons, I'm allergic to the Arizona sun. If I stay out too long, anywhere of my skin that sees the sun breaks out in hives. It is itchy as heck and I can't stop it. Now let me ask what do you think of when people mention hives? I think of thousands of little holes with bugs and larvae squirming inside. . . . nasty huh? Why can't they call it "blooming daises" or something like that.

I'm sure there are more good examples out there but these are the two that I can immediately think of. So to those readers that are going to be a famous scientist or physicians in the future that would discover some crazy bacteria which would turn your skin purple with yellow polka dots, be a little creative and come up with a better name. Here are some good examples: "Strawberry and Banana Smoothie Disease, Teddy Bear Syndrome, Bunny Rabbit Virus, or Tri-Tip Disorder".


Hilary said...

Sorry to hear about your stye, or lollipop as you call it. I've never had a lollipop, but I have had an amazingly painful eye infection that spread into my sinuses and ear. That was cool. Actually, funny story. At the time of this eye infection I had a hideously bad crush on a guy from my class who I called Library Matt, because I always ran into him on the 5th floor of the library. Anyway, he was my TA in one class and classmate in another, and he was wicked smart and handsome in that nerdy way I like. So, he came up the stairs and I was studying at a table nearby and he came over and started chatting with me, and my puffy, red, infected eye decides this it the moment to purge itself of all the dead white blood cells that had lost their lives fighting the evil bacteria in my face. Result: I start blinking and about half a teaspoon of puss oozes out of my eye in front my admired Library Matt. I don't think he ever approached me again.

Patrick said...

Sorry to hear about Library Matt. What are you doing on the fifth floor when you have an infected eye?! That has got to be the dustiest floor in the library. I used to work at the library and I used to hate to take books back up there. My allergies would act up so bad. . . boy.